Discipline must be!

On a wednesday I started my shift at 11.30, clocked in on time, I stopped by the door to check something on the rota. Supervisor Ludi saw that:

What are you doing?
– I’m checking something on the rota.
– Do you have to do it now?
– What? Am I not allowed to?
– Stop wasting time. It’s time for service now!
– Why are you getting angry? – I asked as she sterted to raise her voice. I wasn’t staring at that rota for 10 minutes.I literally came and had a look for a minute or so.

I’m not getting angry. Go behind the counter, do your job!

So I went behind the counter. I felt the hout flush of anger over me. What the hell?! Am I really not allowed to look at my own rota? When am I supposed to be checking it? I understand it is busy, but still, she could say it politely, not with a soldier’s tone of voice. There is nothing else in this place than pushing around. Don’t waste time, do your job, go there, do that, don’t stand, do something! All the time like that.

After a few minutes though, I thought that I refuse to get angry, to get upset for the whole day. First thing – we all get stressed and last days Ludi behaves like a ticking bomb, you can tell she is stressed. Second thing, I kind of like the way I dealt with her, by asking why she gets angry. I didn’t let myself to get draged into an arguement, I said that calmly and that kind of stopped her. I refused to take her anger. I wasn’t always like that. Not long ago I would get upset, but said nothing or I would get into an arguement. That reply said in a calm way probably saved my day.


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